Bent Low

Please read a BEAUTIFUL and humbling post from an amazing woman of the Lord. Follow her story here:

http://www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/ and if you know her story already, well read this again anyways because the words of God flow from her mouth.  An example of what faith and obedience brings.

As I read He is calling me. Calling me to live bent low. Serving. Loving. In all I do. He is calling me to live extrodinarily in the ordinary. Maybe He is calling YOU too? He nevers puts something on our hearts for nothing,a nd I've already been confirmed in that for many years. So please. Read this post and pray that God will open your heart to love Him more, and love others in response. But first- watch this little video about her story.

"Around here, we live bent low.

Tuesday morning ladies from Masese stream through my front door. We have moved our weekly meeting from the slum of Masese to my living room because I have been up all night with new foster baby and can’t imagine getting all 14 of these little people out of the house. Excited about a change of pace and my sweet friends in my home, I enlist the help of darling Tamara and 13 eager little girls to give these ladies pedicures. We wash and we rub and we paint. I rub lotion into old scarred feet and think of the journeys they have traveled. I whisper thanks for the ways they have blessed me and the things they have taught me, and here in a puddle on the hard tile floor, Joy overflows.

It is on this same cold, smooth tile that I kneel hours later, face inches away from the burn on Makerere’s calf. The stench doesn’t even bother me anymore. And while it looks horrific to outside eyes, I remember what it looked like months ago and ever so slowly, I can see the healing. I can see the healing in the blood red life that spills out as I bandage and in the smiling eyes that tell me stories as I work. Laying on my belly with a surgical blade I scrape out the dead and do my best to preserve the new pink tissue that is starting to form around the edges. He laughs and says, “I have told you now all the stories I have! It must be your turn.” And I tell him a story of a Heavenly King born as a pauper and of a Body broken for me and for him and for each one of us. And I don’t even realize but there are tears on the tile and I sit astonished that messy, inadequate, ungraceful me would get to share such a story.

We sit in the dirt, not worried about the red stains and serve 400 plates of food to sponsored children on Saturday. I look into these faces and remember them nearly 4 years ago, destitute and hopeless and starving. Afraid of my funny white skin. We feed them lunch and we feed them God’s Word and we watch them transform. We feel like family now, no one noticing these skin differences. The suns rays beat down the glory of God and covered in mud and chicken broth I know that this is contentment.

Our family sits on the street corner down town sharing ice cream and laughter. My daughter bends low to offer a homeless man her popsicle and as he cries that no one cares about him she looks straight into his face. “We will be your family,” she asserts, and she means it. We kneel on the pavement and we pray and people stop to look but we hardly notice because we were made for this.

We bend.

I bend to sweep crumbs and I bend to wipe vomit and I bend to pick up little ones and wipe away tears. I bend over a big pot of stew and I bend to fold endless laundry and I bend over math books and spelling sentences and history quiz corrections. And at the end of these days I bend next to the bed and I ask only that I could bend more, bend lower.

Because I serve a Savior who came to be a servant. He lived bent low. And bent down here is where I see His face.

He lived, only to die.

Could I?

Die to self and just break open for love.

This Savior, His one purpose to spend Himself on behalf of messy us. Will I spend myself on behalf of those in front of me?

And people say, “Don’t you get tired?” and yes, I do. But I’m face to face with Jesus in the dirt, and the more I bend the harder and better and fuller this life gets. And sure, we are tired, but oh we are happy. Because bent down low is where we find fullness of Joy.

Praying for you as you bend today for whoever is in front of you. He will meet you there."

Am I a Northwesterner?

After talking with my mom for a few minutes the other day, I've decided to needed to share a few things that I have learned/had to do (that I never thought I'd ever do)/or got to do since coming to the NW. 

1. Fetch eggs from the family chickens
2. scare a deer out of the yard so I could get in my car
3. buy an ice scraper
1. use ice scraper on all windows or frozen car
4. watch my neighbor practice his flame ball moves
5. buy and wear manly rain/snow/utility boots in public
6. wear driving gloves (not for the actual purpose of driving, but because the steering wheel in my car is so cold it hurts to hold it while driving)
7. Consider moving to Texas for no other reason but the warmth
8. make a fire everyday (I am a PRO... well with a lighter at least)
9. take Zoey to a 50 acre open dog park
1. pet 6 great danes! they were beautiful!
2. consider owning a great dane
10. consider buying and wearing one of those burglar snow masks to walk Zoey
11. Knit a scarf to actually wear
12. Think it was "warm" at 49 degrees outside
13. Wipe 50 noses in two weeks (oh wait... that has nothing to do with the NW)
14. Make fresh salsa every two weeks because I am desperate for El Torasco 
15. Have multiple dreams about two things
1. InNOut burger
2. Tanning my feet (so random but makes sense- my feet are always cold! They need to make shoes with ugg material inside but not actual uggs b/c I look crazy wearing uggs all the time)

Choose L.O.V.E.

After many articles on Christmas and the "reason for the season" I am really working on rethinking the entire point of Christmas. Kevin and I may have some opposing views about it, after talking about a recent article from the wonderful Jen Hatmaker. It is worth the read. And painfully, many people won't read it because they are :too busy, not interested, or not willing to take an honest look at themselves and the holidays and make changes that they are convicted about. There are many panful things she writes about, child slavery (which is STILL happening all over the world), sex trafficking (which STILL happens everywhere including America- particularly in the OC), corruption, greed, lackluster love for God, unappreciation for the miraculous birth of Jesus Christ, materialism, and much more. I feel it is a reflection of our culture, and what it has done to our families. 

I frequently  sometimes find myself picturing the little family I want to have, no tv, no video games, just family fun. Kids who we pour ourselves into with TIME and ATTENTION instead of pacifying them so that I can "do more important things" like watch tv or look at blogs or a bunch of other useless things I can't think of that we have come to value. What is more important than raising your children to know and love and honor and revere the Lord!? ( Yes, I know I do not have kids, yes I'm sure that maybe I am coming off strong, yes I know that "If you had kids you'd fill-in-the-blank- with whatever things I am against" but I pray with all my might that we will be different. That the love of God would be our desire, and our focus. That we would be a family (even as we are only a family of 2.5 [kevin would be mad if I didn't include our dog Zoey as some numerical value so she gets 0.5] right now) who seeks God above material wealth, looks for ways to continually serve our community/friends/family, who doesn't live in excess, but freely gives that excess to important things like : water wells in communities that need them (i.e. a large majority of Africa), food to local shelters or programs like this Watts Powerhouse Food where my dad serves the local community with food, clothing, and educational services all from donors, or for programs like The International Justice Mission who do AMAZING work all over the world. 

There are hundreds more but I think you get the point, and you will especially get the point if you read Jen's link: GIVE THE GIFT OF CLEAN WATER, FOOD, OR FREEDOM INSTEAD OF WASTING HUNDREDS OR THOUSANDS ON SWEATERS AND CD'S AND GADGETS THAT ARE MOMENTARY PLEASURES. What is YOUR hard earned money worth? Honestly, decide. Choose to love those in need. Real need, not like "I neeeeeed Justin Bieber's new single". Think about what your money is worth.

"I worked really hard, made sacrifices, missed special events, got up early, worked through the night, on and on to buy my brother, sister, mom, dad, aunt, husband, son, daughter _____________________ (fill in the blank). That they use for a while and then forget/get bored/want the next best thing. When I could've helped to change the overall health and life expectancy of an entire village by raising money and donating to their water initiative (check this one out owned by Matt Damon), or feeding 150 kids for Christmas break who would otherwise starve all week, literally. Or choosing to fight for the freedom and basic human rights we ALL deserve by supporting companies who fight for the abused, abandoned, and alone. Did I use my money for good? To serve others, or did I waste it on material things? "

 I dare you to ask yourself these questions. And I am certain there are other ministries or areas of service/people groups YOU feel convicted to help, these are just a few of mine, but I want to encourage you to DO SOMETHING about it!

You money, your time, your efforts are worth so much more than what Target tells you (granted I like Target and all, but honestly). IM BEING SERIOUS! You may be laughing and calling me a freak by now, which I am okay with. But seriously.  Does buying a Snuggie, Family Guy cup set, and Season 4 of House really change your life or anyone who gets it!? NO. So please, I beg you (and myself) to make a change and decide that you can do better. You can be a part of change and progress in our world during a season of selfishness and financial waste. 

NOW: Do I think that giving gifts is wrong? NO. Do I think celebrating Christmas with loved ones is wrong? NO. Is Santa the devil? NO, but the devil certainly sneaks his way into our hearts and makes us care about ALL the wrong things for all the wrong reasons about many holidays or celebrated events. My point is this- we can do better. We can choose to celebrate by doing great things for others. We can celebrate by making thoughtful gifts, spending TIME instead of mass amounts of money with those we love, and not time side by side watching "A Christmas Story" which is funny but pointless, but invested time, meaningful time. We can celebrate by choosing to spend in a smarter way. Avoiding that dollar section (of which I am guilty) at Target or Old Navy or wherever to buy cute/equally useless gifts for people and put that money towards water, food, and freedom. Be intentional about it. All of it. Limit yourself- or create boundaries for how you will spend so that you are set up for success of both thinking about those you love, and those you want to help. For every hundred you spend on gifts, donate that same amount and so on. 

Make it about LOVE. The love of God to send His son Jesus Christ to earth (and while many will say- the point of Christmas historically was not about Jesus' birth, he wasn't actually born on Christmas and so on- this is what our country for many many years chooses to celebrate His glorious birth- so this is when we will celebrate it!). Focus on the love you have for your friends and family and find better ways to show them besides an itunes gift card. (i.e. make them a cd of all the songs that mean something to you both, or a set of songs meant to inspire them while they train for a marathon, study for finals, or are going through a hard time- be intentional and thoughtful.) 

AM I MAKING SENSE HERE!?

Lastly, choose to love those you don't know. Those who you will never meet. Choose to love those in need out of the goodness of your heart. Choose LOVE over gifts and gadgets. By choosing to love those we'll never meet or see or get a thank you from, we are choosing to love others as we love ourselves. Which is the greatest commandment of all. 

Matthew 22: 36-40

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

 ³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Decisions!

( Sorry for the lack of posts- I am not sure where my time has been going...)

I have good news and bad news- good news is that Kevin FINALLY started his job today. After about 5 weeks after being hired, he had his first day. It has been a long wait. He is working for a security company that helps run the Seattle port (they also provide the same services for the Port of Long Beach). We were so excited when he got hired, but it has been a LONG wait to begin and the much needed cash flow could not come fast enough. The bad news is, the schedule is going to be crazy and changes every week. So that will be a big downer since most shifts are at night and sometimes into the early morning... lame. BUT we are grateful for the job, and Kevin said his first day was "scary but exciting too". We are hoping to move in January, and will be looking for an apartment for our first year (we are hoping to save a lot more this way so that we can rent a home/condo in the near future). 

On my side of things- my "students" are doing great. Many of the kids are adjusting to going to school and learning about routine, following rules, praying to God, sharing, talking, potty training, singing, and lots of "wiggle time" which is when they copy things I do (i.e. clap your hands, tap your feet, touch your nose, wiggle your arms) in order to let them move but also practice following direction and about animals or whatever I have them do. It is so cute. I have been getting good feedback from parents, which has been really rewarding and encouraging. Some kids ask if "Teacher Colleen" is coming to their house, swim practice, or for bedtime stories, and some apparently ask if they can go to school on their day off :-) To say the least, I am being spoiled by cute kids and great families. It is a great school and I am so lucky to be a part of it. 

 It has been weird though, I notice so much more about motherhood just by being at this school and interacting/observing the mothers. I daily struggles, the loneliness, the love, the joy, the demands, the need to relate, the ugg boot with stretchy pants and a sweatshirt look, the crazy do everything moms, and also the rare stay at home dads. I feel much closer to it all than I did before at the preschool I worked at in college. I'm not sure where I am going with this- but I will reflect on it later. Overall, these children are helping me and building me into a person who practices much more patience, kindness, gentleness and love. Being more self aware and remembering that all that I do reflects and teaches something to these children- and knowing that I want it to all be in love. I want them to think of school as a place where they know Teacher Colleen will be there to love me, teach me, and encourage me with gentleness and care. (*Note: for all you Duggar Haters out there- watching that show- since it is on demand here- has really helped me to channel my inner Michelle and change how I teach and interact with these kids... If you dont know what I am talking about- ask me- or go watch an episode of 19 kids and counting) 

Okay enough rambling. I'll have a more fun post soon!

Take A Back Road....

Big news in the Cox home this week......

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We bought a car for Kevin! Goodbye 95' Camry- hello 2004 Jeep Liberty! We can now go off roadin', 4 wheel drivin', campin', fishin', huntin', and basically anything outside that you'd like to do out here in the great North West!  

Here is a song to go with it :-) 

And it only seems appropriate to share this song too on how I feel about the rain here in Seattle now that I have a little hick in my step thanks to the fog lights on the car!

And for other news..... here is a cute picture of Zoey 

(and Ernie who doesn't like any other dog as of yet)!

Couldn't find her anywhere... until we checked our bed haha!

The Way.

Tonight my Aunt and I went and saw the movie called "The Way". It was written and directed by Emilio Estaves ( *Check It Out Here* ). Good movie.

At so many points it got me thinking. The story is about a dad who goes on a long trek that his son had set out for, but died on day one (you learn in the first five minutes so its not a spoiler okay!- sorry!) and along the journey we get to see and meet a few interesting characters and learn their stories- or should I say very small peeks into their stories.

It made me think this exact thought throughout the movie-

Share what you have.

Thats it. Nothing huge. But this movie really got me thinking. I think about life a lot- and how short it really is in the grand scheme of things. We each have so much love and kindness and encouraging words/thoughts within us- but how often do we really tell people them? How many missed opportunities we let go by without saying them. I know we see this everywhere, "tell people you love them, it could be your last time" I understand that. I agree with it. BUT I think we need to do more. Simply saying you love someone is not enough. LIVE IT OUT. We need to love them in all we do. Word and deed. What does that look like?

Saying something honest. Saying something of meaning to someone. Comforting them even if it is hard for you. Praying for them without them having to ask. Knowing them. Listening to them more than talking about yourself. Really listening so that you know how to best love them. Forgiving them. Appreciating who they are. Thinking of them first. Love has so many ways of revealing itself.  But mostly we need to do the following.

We need to live like Jesus.

This passage has been on my mind for the entire year. I cannot even begin to unravel it in my poorly written words, and maybe you wont see how it relates- but hey God gave me these words and I'm writing them so hopefully they will matter and make sense to one of you. so please. Read.


1 John 2:3-11

³ We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. ⁴ Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. ⁵ But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: ⁶ Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.

 ⁷ Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. ⁸ Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.

 ⁹ Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. ¹⁰ Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. ¹¹ But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.

So here is the point to this all. We cannot know and give and understand love the way it is meant to be carried out until we know the way God intended it. How can we know that? Through scriptures. Through Jesus' life. We need to know Jesus. I need to know Jesus. I need to know Him more than I know ANY other. I need to know because my entire life depends on it. All my relationships, friendships, family, marriage, future children, grandchildren. All those I will work with and encounter need love- and I want to be able to show it to them, no matter how slight. 

So thank you- Emilio... for showing me.... the way.... hahaha okay sorry I had to add that in there. And for a cuter version of a love story- go watch Juno. Lots to learn there. The good the bad the ugly. And I am biased b/c it involves teen pregnancy and adoption all in one. Okay bye.

All things baby...

No- this is NOT a pregnancy announcement.

I wanted to tell you guys a little but more about why we moved up to Washington.

In simple terms- I LOVE babies. I love pregnancy, birthing stories, couples, expectant parents, families, and basically, all- things- baby.

A few months ago, I was talking to a friend of a friend, and she was telling me about her job at an elderly facility. In my head I am thinking, "I could NEVER do that!" and she tells me, "When I am serving these old people, I pray and thank God because I know I am washing the feet of Jesus."

I almost cried on the spot. What a woman. What a perspective. Inspiring.

More of Jesus, less of me. Please.

It got me thinking... what is it that I do, that I feel God made me to do, and that when I do this, I know I am serving Jesus. Immediately I knew it was with children- little children.

When I am helping families, teaching kids, swaddling babies and rocking them to sleep- I feel God smiling down on me. I know he made me to do this. Not for my own kids, but for others. My time will come, but it isn't right now. And that night I spoke to this woman, I began praying:

"Lord, help me find a way to do what you made me to do"

At the time I was considering leaving my job, and looking for a good way out. Through a series of events, I was led to a pre school where I would be teaching the "Curious Two's" class (unknowingly teaching one of my friends newly adopted son!)

So here I am (here we are) living in Washington, I am teaching such sweet, loving, and precious children, and praying about the next step. In the long run- I want to go back to school at UW for my Masters in Social Work. I think I have mentioned some interests before but here are some potential places I think God has called me to serve in - I am just going to throw them out there in no particular order! Maybe you can leave (encouraging) comments about what you could best see me doing!? Yes? Okay!

• Working with and/or counseling teen mothers
• Counseling expectant couples and/or teaching couples classes for new parents
• Working for an adoption agency serving teen mothers
• Maybe- and just maybe- some doula work with deliveries (I would love to be hands on but it would take additional certification)  
• Teaching/counseling at a pregnancy clinic or hospital 

Okay! Enough about me. I just wanted to share a bit of my heart with ya'll (shout out to my Texan friends who make me love saying ya'll). I know God made me to work with kids and families and thanks for coming alongside me in the journey to getting there. 

For now, I am mostly a wife, a teacher, and a new Washington resident. I hope to add a few more things to that list in the next few years. 

And for fun- here are a few photos of some special babies who have changed. my. entire. life. 

Some Photos For Ya

Here are some other photos that I couldn't load a while back from our trip and some from our new home! Enjoy!

Goin' to the Narthwest!

There are a few interesting things that we have been finding out about since we have moved up here. A few hick-ish things, and a few awesome things!

Hickish things include the following:

1. People drive with goats instead of dogs in the back of their trucks
2. The local High School has a gun club- and it happens to be around the block 
3. Deer roaming in yards is normal
4. LOTS of people own their own chickens
5. LOTS of people spray paint their trucks camouflage 
6. This is hickish but also awesome: bars named "Doofers"

Awesome things include the following:

1. You can merge in and out of the carpool lane whenever your heart desires 
1. negative byproduct- you cannot merge onto other freeways from the carpool so swerving across traffic to make your change is common
2. The skyline is always filled with trees
3. Drive through coffee shops are literally everywhere
4. There are lots of apple trees that hang out of peoples giganto yards and we can pick apples off 
5. Washington is literally lined with berry bushes that people pick 
6. We have seen the three couples/families we know up here a few times already 

Okay random post for you guys. Here is a cute picture just for fun.

Long Awaited!

Hi friends-

Well the biggest reason I have not posted photos and updates from our journey to the NW is because my computer won't let my phone sync to it anymore and  I can't upload my photos from my phone OR my photos from my camera- because our other cord is packed away. Wah wahhhh. So that being said, there are a few that I was able to sync by some Christmas miracle and I have a few photos for you.

Our going away party was a blast. Thank you to everyone who came and showered us with love as we begin this new journey! It is scary but so exciting for us. The drive went really well! Zoey slept literally the entire way until we were two blocks from the house and she was fed up and screaming/howling/wimpering/barking- but I still see that as a victory!

Our first day we drove up to Sacramento or "The Sac" as Kevin likes to call it, and stayed with our friends Phil & Kathy. We had a great time, went out for appetizers at the Diners, Dives, and Drive through guys restaurant- yummmmm. Then we went on a journey to Phil's favorite taco truck (which involved a 30 minute drive into God knows where- it looked like we were in Indiana! Sorry Em..) But let me tell you- THOSE TACOS WERE FLIPPIN AMAZING! YUMMMMMMMMMMMMM . Thanks PHil! And ended it with DELISH donuts! Thanks Kathy for sharing the Mint N Chip!

Kevin on his first leg of the trip ( I took the mornings he took second shift)

Lookin' snazzzzzay in his new jacket and glasses

Guy Fierrere's (or however the heck you spell it) restaurant!

Posing for my parents by his picture!

Em- Doesn't that look like Indiana!? Come on!

The famous truck. We will meet again.

Phil and Kev determining their orders- note the seriousness.

Into Oregon now! 

What Kevin does when I ask him to take pictures. 

Getting closer to Portland.

Mema's swanky condo!

Her sweet view!

Funky breakfast place we went to! Double Yum!

For Tiffany.

Everyone told us to go to Voodoo Donuts b/c they are the best..

They were right!

The famed "Bacon Maple Donut" 

Kevin chanted that mantra the entire way while we walked there...

Leaving Portland!

We spent the next day driving for 11 hours up to Portland, Oregon to stay the night with my Grandma in her hip condo in the city. That place is dog central. We took Zoey on a walk and business owners asked if we would bring her into the shop and they proceeded to get on their hands and knees and kiss/play with Zoey and then give her treats. It was really strange. I'm talking grown men and women in business clothes. Maybe it is just weird to me. *Fun fact about Washington- apparently it is now known as the biggest dog state in the US where more people have dogs than they have children- thus the giant section of dog clothes everywhere we go. 

The third and final day of our voyage was.... really crappy/horrible/draining eventful. While leaving Portland, I noticed the car tow was swaying pretty strongly and dangerously next to cars. We pulled over and found out the lever to the car tow and lodged its way up and under the bottom of our bummer (into this plastic area) and there was no way to get it out. We tried to drive slow, but the front tire being unlocked was  making the car shift all over the place and we were not willing to keep driving. So we pulled over, tried 10 things that didn't work, and figured the only thing we could do is pull the call off the tow and drive our two cars separately. We did so, and bent the underneath of our bumper pretty bad, but better than the car flying swinging into someones car and creating a huge crash. So that short 3 hour drive turned into a 6 hour drive because we also hit ridiculous traffic coming into WA because a truck slid onto grass. Let me repeat- a truck- did not crash, and no other cars were involved, and no car was even damaged, but a truck, slid onto grass on the side of the road, and needed to get pulled off - SO LITERALLY JUST A TRUCK SITTING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD- and people decided that was 5 mph worthy on the freeway.... LAWD people in WA can't drive! 

(Kevin has the entering Washington Photos)

Here is the sign that we drove up to!

Did I tell you they have chickens who we get fresh eggs from..?

With names... and personalities!? They hold them! haha!

We had our first and last Dick's burger. It is NOTHING compared to INNOUT.

Pretty views!

We had our first Five Guys. Pretty good man.

Our drive home everyday. 

Snapshot of my classroom!

View of the Bergin Home!

Sunshine for all your WA haterrrrrs out there- it happens!

:-)

In my sweet fleece my sister got me- I fit right in now! 

So anywho! We made it to WA with overall great ease and we are having a great time. We live in a beautiful neighborhood with my aunt/uncle/cousins and we are loving all the trees. I mean seriously, its like the woods. It is beautiful. All the leaves are starting to change color, the fog sits nice and low on the mountains behind us, and on clear days (which we have had quite a few) it is even better. My job at the preschool is great! The facility is beautiful and the kids are so sweet and fun. Kevin has a few prospects, but we are still figuring out a few things. We have driven around lots of neighborhoods and cities looking for where we would potentially live. So please pray for these specific things:

-Kevin would find a great full time job that he enjoys and can learn from
-I find a fun restaurant to work at that is closer to wherever he works
- We find a nice place to rent (we want to rent a small home)
-We are patient
-We find a church in that area

If you read this whole thing- I love you! Thanks! More pictures and posts to come!
xoxoxoxoxo Colleen